1.     Listen

2.     Ask questions, but wait until your child has finished completely.

3.     Avoid saying "it's a phase"

4.     Thank your child for trusting you with such personal information.

5.     Congratulate your child on knowing himself/herself so well.

6.     Tell your child you love him/her and nothing will ever change that.

7.     If uncomfortable, just say so, Ask for time to adjust but be mature enough to recognize it's your problem for which you need help, and state this.

8.     Avoid thinking of stereotypes of gay identity. Don't force an identity on your child.

9.     Realize you have no effect or influence on your child's orientation, only on their decision to tell you about it.

10.    Ask if you can do something to help. Offer to help him/her come out to other family, friends, workmates, etc.

11.    Comfort and console with stories of the past, be upbeat about the future.

12.    Save discussing sexual behavior (safe sex, etc) until a less emotional time.

13.    Address issues your child has like " I feel so lonely" by putting him/her in the context of everyone. Don't let the bad feelings your child might be experiencing be simply a factor of being gay. Everyone get depressed.

14.    If your child seems uncertain, remind them that it's okay to be confused for as long as they need.

15.    Act like a team member with your child. Imagine you are gay yourself and take on the cause. Confront homophobic comments made by other people.

16.    Tell your child his/her friends are always invited to your house. Take interest in your child's love interests and make them feel like royalty.

17.    Ensure your child is out to his/her doctor or some other health professional. It's better to be out and comfortable with your doctor before a health issue that would involve coming out arises.

18.    Read. Pick up some gay publications so you can be aware of what's going on out there, so your child does not fell like his/her life is separate.

19.    Don't let the coming out conversation be the last  conversation about your child's love life. It's very depressing to come out and till feel like the topic is a burden to others.

20.    Go to a PFLAG meeting. Don't forget, you can help other parents who might be having a difficult time with their child's sexual identity.